I’m a pregnant intern. I didn’t plan to get pregnant, in fact, I thought it was the last thing that could happen. I’m in my 30s and hadn’t used birth control since 2016. I figured if motherhood was in my future, it would have happened by now. So, how did I become pregnant? Well around 5 months ago, a month into my Hispanic Access internship, I started to feel a little different. It was a whole week before I was supposed to get my period, but I decided to take a pregnancy test anyway, to rule it out. I saw a faint pink shadow of a line on the test. It looked like a mirage. I googled it and it’s called an evaporation line. Which meant I’m most likely pregnant. I have no chill, so I bought 5 more tests, and took one every day. Every day the line got darker. All 6 tests were positive. It was official. I’m pregnant. That first week, I was over the moon with happiness. I can be a mother. I can have a baby and family.
Then the dread set in.
I started to judge myself for being pregnant without job or relationship stability. Too many questions were swirling in my head. Will my parents, friends, and job accept me? Who should I tell? I felt so vulnerable. What I needed most was support, and I felt uncertain if I would get it.
Thank goodness I didn’t hold on to those feelings.
I confided to my close friends first. They were 100 percent supportive of my decision to keep the baby. Then I told my family. They were over the moon happy for me. My sister said, Finally! I didn’t know if you would ever give us babies! Then after 3 months I told my employer. I told my boss’s boss first. I didn’t plan to tell her first, but like my pregnancy it just happened. We scheduled a networking call to discuss my future career plans after the internship. She asked me where I wanted to live and work. I told her maybe the first year I’d like to work virtually and stay in Texas. She asked me why? I told her because of family. She asked me 3 more times if there was anything else that could factor into my future career decisions? If there was anything else I was not telling her? My heart started racing. I felt like she knew. So, I broke down and told her. Yes, there is something else. I’m pregnant.
She accepted the news joyfully. And I knew after seeing her reaction that it was ok.
I was going to be ok.
I could make it work.
I have all the love and support I need for me and the baby.
I’m excited for this new chapter in my life and can’t wait to build my career and family together!
Agency: U.S Forest Service
Program: Resource Assistant Program (RAP)
Location: USFS Headquarters, Washington Office