Every October for the past seven years, I have felt an overwhelming sensation of powerlessness. This is the time of year when my seasonal position ends, and I ruminate over every decision I have made to lead me to such a situation where I have no idea how I am going to pay the bills, bills, bills until May. I begin with deprecating my poor decision to study anthropology and philosophy instead of biology or chemistry. It gets dark from there. I ruminate and ruminate until the seasonal depression sets in, and I am only left with the familiar feelings of inadequacy.

In 2018, I decided to take a seasonal position as the Wilderness Monitoring Lead with San Juan National Forest. Ros Wu, natural resource specialist, was to be my supervisor. Ros Wu is a fast-talking, quick-witted, and energized force to be reckoned with. She enjoys sheet cake (that frosting better be whipped), sourdough bread, and long days horseback riding in local wilderness areas. On my first day of work in the San Juans, despite having no previous experience with horses, she took me out on horseback to cut out the Piedra River trail. I was so nervous the night before that I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I arrived at the ranger station sleep deprived, nervous, and already disappointed in myself.

If I remember correctly, Ros simply saddled up a tolerant horse named Moose, gave me a handful of directions so that I would most likely not kill myself or set myself up for disaster, and off we went. The feelings I arrived with were still right there on the saddle with me. However, as the day progressed, and we took turns watching the horses or cutting the trees, I realized that she was giving me the autonomy to learn for myself, make mistakes, and if disaster occurred, she would be there to guide me out of it. This stands true for almost all projects she has given me. This gift of freedom to think for myself, organize, coordinate, and execute on my own has empowered me to take control of my life and responsibility for my actions.

After a couple years of loyalty, hard work, and dedication, I approached Ros.  I told her about my ambitions, my dreams, and hope for a career in the Forest Service. She perked her ear up around the office, found this position, and encouraged me to apply. She read my cover letter, my resume, and was my reference for the job. Without Ros and her faith in me, I truly believe I would not be here.

Ros won’t be able to fix the many tragedies I deal with personally or the forest deals with objectively. However, mentors like Ros give me hope for a bright future, the drive to make a positive impact with my work, and faith that others are actively pursuing a path of mindfulness. It is with her observable actions that she continues to teach those around her and inspire positive change. Today, and forever, I am grateful for her trust in me. With this internship, I hope to take one step closer to becoming a mentor like Ros. Thank you, Ros, for everything.

Agency: U.S Forest Service

Program: Resource Assistant Program (RAP)

Location: Pagosa Ranger District, San Juan National Forest